meeeeeehhhhhhh......

I'm just going to start off by saying that I flippity flopped my goal of Journaling regularly.  I'm gonna be real honest I've been eating like I have the metabolism of a 14 year old girl. Fuck. Spoiler alert. I don't. Im 30 fucking 2 with 5 kids. I digress. 

Well, here's my attempt at a refocus. I think I need to really do some inward searching and figure out why I self sabotage so often. Its becoming a character trait and I'm beyond ashamed by it. I haven't always been the best friend/ girlfriend/ wife/ mother. I've failed those I love (completely beyond repair in one case) but I'm not a bad person. Im kinda tired of feeling like one. I deserve to be able to feel worthy and right now I just feel hopeless. 

I want to do the right thing. I want to be a better person. Im just having a hard time forgiving myself for all the pain I have caused to my loved ones, and really, my self.... 

No one can break my heart like I can. 

I'll do better this week. I have to! 

My friend took a couple pictures of me today and Omg. Fuck. This. 

Would you believe im wearing shape wear. Its a lot worse than this usually. Ugh. 

Nothing but neck 🤮🤮🤮

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